Rudeness Cuts off Communication
We may have set a new record, but not one we should be proud of: Three rude outbursts caught on national television in a single week.
First, there was Rep. Joe Wilson shouting at President Obama from the floor of Congress, “You lie.”
Then after a foot fault was called on Serena Williams at US Open tennis semi-finals, she unleashed a string of obscenities at the official. (This is the censored version.)
And Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the VMA’s for best female video to praise another singer’s video.
The problem with this type of outburst isn’t that they are rude–they are rude–but that they shut down public discourse.
When someone interrupts you while you’re giving a formal, televised speech and accuses you not just of being wrong but of lying, how can you respond?
When someone screams obscenities at you in a rage, what can you say in response?
When someone interrupts your acceptance speech and claims that another person deserves the award you’re receiving, what can you possibly say?
These outburts end dialogue and curtail the interchange of ideas.
What do you think?
Tags: Kanye West, public rudeness, Rep. Wilson, Serena Wilson
September 15th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
It seems bad things come in threes, again. Perhaps as a result there will be a public backlash against rudeness and bad manners. Kanye West honored his commitment to appear on the Jay Leno show, depite the contretemps that occured on the VMA program. When asked if his behaviour had been wrong, after more than 20 seconds of holding his head in silence, he admitted he had been rude. He further stated that he needed to take some time and reflect how he could do better in the future.
September 16th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Sean,
I didn’t see Kanye’s appearance on Leno. Thanks for alerting me to it. I’m only surprised that it took him 20 seconds of silence to admit that he was rude. Like you I hope there’s a backalsh against all this rudeness. It seems our public life is getting less and less civil.
This is probably something for another post, but when people do apologize I want them to take responsibility for what they did, not for how I or someone else responded to it. I hate the false apology that sounds something like, “I’m sorry that you were offended.” No, I want someone to have the basic honesty to say, “I’m sorry for what I did. It was wrong. And I apologize.”
Best, Chris
September 17th, 2009 at 6:06 am
Chris, what a timely topic. Rudeness certainly does prevent ideas on getting across. Sort of like a shortcut that somehow takes you to a different destination you want to go. Might still be OK with your family or the closest friends (might) but you’d have to have built up trusting relationships by that time. Thomas Huynh, founder, Sonshi.com
September 17th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Thomas,
I think rudeness with family or friends is doubly harmful. It stops communicaton and it eats away bit by bit at the trust you mention.
PS I’m listening to your talk on your book at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osQ2bLUd0UA and highly recommend it.
Chris
September 17th, 2009 at 11:36 pm
Hi Chris, obviously I would never advise anyone to be rude to his or her family or close friends; it’s just that they would be a lot more understanding and would probably continue to listen whereas mere acquaintances wouldn’t bother listening beyond the first rude comment.
I’m glad you like the presentation, not perfect of course but I hope it achieved its purpose.
Thomas